Today, I want to talk about the conversation that changed my life and I'll never forget.
It happened at Burger Republic, which is a burger joint here in Nashville. Delicious Burgers by the way, and boozy milkshakes. Not that I was partaking because I don't really drink much anymore, mostly just because so much of life is so busy. I'm not a wine mom, it just makes me pass out. So that's not what I want to do.
I was telling my husband, “I love you so much, but everything goes through me for our house.”
And I contribute to the household financially significantly and so does he, but all the house stuff falls on me as well. Except for the yard. He does the yard and the trash, but everything else is on me.
So when I actually listed this out for him, he got it. So I said to him, “Which of these do you want?” And he sat there and I was like, “You have to take something completely out of my brain. I can't have like this. It's hanging out there, taking some space of my thought. You have to completely take over something.“
And so we narrowed it down and it was either cooking dinner every night because that is just like a huge thing. You guys know everybody wants to be fed every day, so figuring out what the meal is, making sure you have the right groceries in the house, all of that stuff is work.
And so I was like, “You can do that or you can do the laundry.” And he thought about it for a minute and he was like, “I'll do the laundry.“
And that is how I haven't had to do laundry since, with the rare occasion of like, my kid threw up and I needed to go into the washing machine immediately.
Now I've got some standards. I literally just had to explain it in detail to my husband and be like, “I need you to take something over.” And because he thought, we have housekeepers that come once a week, he thought, I've got help and I've got it. And I was like, “I don't think you understand everything that I handle and I don't think that most men do because we just do it all.“
As women we were just like, “Oh, I can handle that, I can handle that.”
And what happens is we got a million things running through our heads at all times and then there's no space to think about systems to build. You just sort of get into some stuff and it gets a little brutal and really taxing on your brain.
I really want to encourage you that if you do have a partner at home,or a husband, detail out everything and say, “Can you take one of these off my plate, just completely.” I was like, “I don't want to think about the laundry at all. I just want you to do it.”
Now, to be honest with you, does my laundry get done as well as I would like it to? Not usually, but he's definitely improved over time.
I was doing my own laundry when I was 10 or 11. I was pretty young. My mom made me do my own laundry. So if you've got older kids make them do their own laundry. That teaches them a lot of good things.
The key is find something that can completely get out of your brain space.
And if that is you have to hire somebody to do something, and you're a work from home mom, figure out if you can take on one more client to pay for those housekeepers.
Definitely utilize delivery like Walmart grocery is starting to deliver. I have Amazon Subscribe and Save, sending me like 50 percent of the groceries that we use every month, they just magically appear at my door. Things like that are really, really helpful for me to balance out everything that needs to happen in this house.
And actually what was so fun is that when we went shopping for laundry machines, I was like, “Honey, it's your choice because I don't do the laundry.” So he totally picked that out too. It was great. ❤❤❤
And I realized also, you may not have a partner at home, hugs to all working moms, but if there's a way that you can get somebody to help, just ask for help because we're terrible at asking for help. Ask for help and if the person doesn't understand all the things that you do, take a minute to write down what you do every day.
They'd probably be amazed because you're amazing. I know you are. All right. Give yourself a breather. Let's all take a deep breath.
I hope that you take something from your home life off your plate. We can talk about how to take business stuff off your plate too if you want, let me know. But I think it's really important to get something from your home off your plate because there's just so many things. Maybe it's packing school lunches, or you need help with the dishes, whatever.
Ask for help and ask for help from your kids and from your partner because they should help you.